Just a few days ago, I was working with a school leader on a sticky dilemma he was facing
Without giving away the details, the essence of it boils down to some interpersonal conflict between staff members that the direct supervisor under this leader was having a hard time engaging and solving
The leader with whom I was working didn’t want to overstep his bounds but also wanted to see the situation handled
As I listened to him struggle through this, my thoughts (and eventual invitation) ran to two questions that were rooted in one thing:
Have you the leader reached out to see how your direct supervisor overseeing this situation is doing personally? Not how they are handling this, but how they are doing within themselves
Has anyone asked how the staff engaged in the conflict were doing personally? Had anyone checked in on them just to see how they were doing as human beings beyond the conflict?
The answer to both was NO
Everyone involved in this situation—the leader with whom I was working and the supervisor with whom he was working—was working hard to solve the professional dilemma, but no one had stopped to think through how those going through it might be affected and impacted as real, flesh and blood, flawed and striving human beings
The leader with whom I was working stopped what he was doing, looked at me and said, “You know, I didn’t think there was much I could do here, but now I see that my role is to check in to see how each person is doing and make sure they know I care about them even in the midst of this situation”
That, to me, was a huge win!
I think all too often as leaders, we forget that the “problems” in front of us are also flesh and blood human beings
Like us, they get tired, scared, worried, hopeful, let down, afraid, energized, and eager
Like us, they want to be liked, want to belong, what to know that they and the work they do matter
And like us, they want a place to work where they know they are safe, seen, supported, valued, and valuable
Those we lead and those with whom we work bring to their role and jobs fears from home, struggles with finances, conflicts with spouses, dreams for the summer, plans for the weekend…the whole entirety of the human experience
Leading a school (or any organization) requires that we remember that we are operating within a living ecosystem of frail, gentle, vulnerable individuals who, at any and every moment collectively are hopeful, tired, stressed, excited, empty, and generous
We are not just solving problems
We are not just managing outcomes
If we are truly doing the work of administration (“to minister” in Latin) we are leading people not just in their roles and not just for the organization
But towards their better selves
THAT is what genuine leadership really is: calling up and calling out, leaning in and listening well, saying “I see you” to those who know we hold the upper hand in the power dynamic
Leadership is not being out in front
It is being worthy of being followed
That simple lightbulb in the head of the leader with whom I was working was telling
He had spent a good bit of time thinking through the problem and dealing with it operationally but the true flash of care happened when he realized this wasn’t just an organizational situation to manage but individual people to lead
And leadership is always rooted first in authentic human care
Blessings on the journey
Scott
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