Colleague:

When was the last time you felt deeply connected to why you became a school leader?

Not why you should stay. Not what you tell the board. Not the talk you give to your faculty at PD

But the original calling—that moment when you knew in your bones you were meant to lead a learning community.

For most school leaders I work with, it's been a while. Maybe years.

So many tell me they have lost that original connection. That joy. That sense of deep purpose

For me, the feeling of disconnect didn’t happen one morning. It happened over many moments, some small, some traumatic, some heartbreaking, that left me asking myself why I do this work

For many of us, we started with a vision:

"I want to lead a school where every student belongs. Where classes are engaging. Where learning is rich and community is deep. Where faculty love their work and families trust us."

But then came the budget crisis, the personnel issues, the compliance requirements, the board politics, the parent complaints, the hard decisions, the staring at the wall in the middle of the night

Day by day, you moved from leading with vision to simply managing the urgent.

Until you woke up realizing: I'm surviving, not leading. I'm reacting, not creating.

This is exactly how burnout happens. 

It's what Brené Brown calls overwhelm—and it's all too real.

I hear this from leaders all over the world. From Boston to Bangladesh.

It’s not just statistically the greatest threat to school leadership. It’s a reality I hear from so many of you. And it’s a reality I have faced in my own leadership. 

I’ll never forget the long, dark night of the soul when I sat staring up at the ceiling, wondering if I had what it takes to continue in this role

Wondering if the work was worth the cost

Wondering if this is how I was supposed to feel

But the deeper crisis isn't just exhaustion—it's rooted in a loss of WHY we entered this work to begin with

1. Leading From Obligation Instead of Calling
Your calendar is full of have to, not called to. You feel trapped, not energized. You’re doing the work but living in your red zone, not your green

2. Everything Feels Equally Urgent
You can't discern what truly matters. You're reactive, constantly putting out fires. The tyranny of the urgent overwhelms any sense of deep joy that may have led you into school administration to begin with

3. Disconnected From Community
You feel isolated, tangential to the very community you're leading, unappreciated. You spend all day caring for others but have no one who is professionally caring for you

4. Exhausted Beyond Sleep
Physical rest doesn't restore you. You feel empty, not just tired. Weary. Spent. Depleted.

If any of these resonate, you're not alone.

So let’s talk about how to recenter yourself to the meaning, purpose, and hope that led you into education and school leadership

For you and for those you lead

(p.s. This is not meant as therapy or counseling, and I do highly suggest that for those who may find such intervention beneficial)

I believe that your WHY is the intersection of your wound (the thing that broke your heart open towards others) and your gift (what only you bring to the world)

What broke your heart that made you want to fix it for others?

Maybe you were the kid who never felt smart enough. The student who didn't fit in. The one whose voice wasn't heard. The overlooked gifted student. The overachiever who never truly felt at peace with themselves

That wound isn't a liability. It's the source of your calling. It’s why you’re an educator and not an actuary

What unique gift do you bring to the world?

What comes naturally and effortlessly to you?

Maybe you see potential in people before they see it themselves. Create systems that work. Build cultures of safety. Navigate conflict with grace. Inspire vision. Have the ability to sit on the floor with a student in need. Provide peace to others

That gift is what you and only you can offer to others. It is your unique giftedness

For me (without going into details) I know clearly what wound led to my unique giftedness that shapes me into the educator and school leader I am today

The story of your life, with all its twists and turns, challenges and beauty, has shaped in. you a deep heart that finds its truest fulfillment in the beautiful, chaotic work of shaping lives in their most formative years.

THAT is where your WHY most truly shines!!!

NOW: Imagine your school being led from your deep sense of WHY (wound + gift)

Example:
Wound: Creative kid told to sit still
Gift: I see genius in kids others give up on
Vision: A school where every outside-the-box thinker feels celebrated!

Example:

Wound: Kid who felt isolated and alone
Gift: I see those left out, on the margins
Vision: A school where every person knows they matter and has a place to belong!

Your purpose becomes clear. Your work becomes sacred. Your hope returns

Your WHY becomes the North Star that guides you through the darkest moments.

Knowing your WHY isn't enough, however. You must practice returning to it.

Here are three practices I’ve used that have helped me recenter myself to my WHY when the road gets dark:

1. The WHY Check-In
Write your WHY somewhere that you can see it. Memorize it. Etch it into your soul. Then use that as the compass that guides you as you enter each day, each decision, each difficulty.

Ask yourself: What is my WHY? How will I honor it today? Am I leading from it or from something else (exhaustion, fear, worry, anger, overwhelm)?

2. The Decision Filter: Every major decision you face, run it through your WHY:

Not every decision will perfectly align. But over time, the trajectory matters.

3. Find your WHY community.

You cannot sustain purpose in isolation.

You need people who:

This is why ongoing community matters more than episodic inspiration.

I have several different communities of peers, colleagues, and friends I meet with on a regular basis to root me in my WHY. One group calls ourselves the “Second Mountaineers” based on David Brook’s great book The Second Mountain (we are even planning a hiking trip to Machu Picchu!)

Having a WHY community is life-giving!!!!

Teachers reconnect to why they became educators.
Students discover their own purpose.
Your school becomes a place where people come alive.

But this only happens if you go first.

Every summer at the school I lead, we ask our leadership team to articulate why they returned. The goal is two-fold:

For them to narrate and own WHY they have returned to this sacred work
For us to lean in and listen to what really drives them beneath the contract

This is why your inner work is THE work.

I know what you may be thinking: "I barely have time to breathe, much less do deep inner work."

But here's the truth: You don't have time NOT to do this work.

Because leading without WHY is what's exhausting you. Leading from obligation is draining your energy. Drifting from purpose is making you wonder if you can sustain another year.

That is EXACTLY why I created the Flourishing School Leaders Community Cohort.

I heard from so many of you that feeling isolated is the deep cause of so much of the exhaustion you feel

Believing that the best leadership happens in relationship, I created a gathering place for leaders just like you…and the response has been overwhelming!!!

Tuesday, February 24 at 11:00 AM CST we meet again to engage this very topic:

"Leading From Your WHY: Recentering Purpose and Meaning in School Leadership"

We're diving into:

Then small groups for deep processing. Then live Q&A.

When you enroll, you get:

Investment: $500/year ($42/month) | Teams of 3+: $415 per person

"This community could be the difference between me staying in education or leaving. I need this." — First-Year Principal

"I knew you would attract high-quality, world-changing people. Our first session was incredible." — Cohort Member

You can keep leading from obligation, exhausted and disconnected.

Or you can recenter.

Excavate your WHY. Build practices that keep you aligned. Lead from hope instead of managing urgency.

Do this work alongside a community who refuses to let each other quit.

The world doesn't need more competent administrators who are dead inside.

It needs leaders alive with purpose.

Will you be one of them?

With deep respect for your work,

Scott Martin

P.S. Ask yourself: What will be different in six months if I keep doing exactly what I'm doing? Will I be more energized or exhausted? More connected or disconnected? You deserve to flourish, not just survive.

P.P.S. Leadership teams (3+): Email [email protected] for team pricing ($415/person). When your whole team learns together, transformation accelerates.